البدايات—٤٤٤

دائمًا ما ينتابنا شعور يعجز تفسيره عند البدايات…مزيجٌ من مشاعرٍ وضدها، وكأن جمال الشيء وُضِع في بدايته فقط، ليتلاشى حتى لا يصبح له طعم أو قيمة، فنتمنى عودته تارة أخرى لنشعر بلذة الشعور ذاته، حتى وإن كان اهتلاسًا أو مجرد مجاملة لم يُلقى لها بالًا. كأن الحوار في البدايات يرتدي قناعًا يخفي وراءه كل شعور مُقنَّع، وكأننا فقدنا القدرة على التحكم بحواسنا…وكلما وعدنا أنفسنا ألا نقع في خدعة البدايات ذاتها، نفشل.

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