Believe—Dana Alh
Amidst the quiet darkness, I am aware that all I have got left to do is to believe …
“Mom, what does it mean to believe?”, I still remember my eight-year-old self contemplating emotions before going to bed; emotions that I have never experienced until years after. My mother tucked me in bed and curled her pursed lips to form half a smile, “to believe is to have faith, honey. Now goodnight, you can ask all you want in the morning, but it is time to go to bed now.” Being the stubborn kid that I was, I pulled my blanket away and sat upright as I looked at her, “I want to know now. If you don’t answer my question, I won’t sleep. I promise you, mom, it’s only one question, and I only want one short answer.”
Giving up to my request, she laid next to me and finally began to answer my question.
“No short answer will ever carry the great and true meaning of what it is to believe. To believe, is to wake up every morning knowing that today is going to be better. To believe, is to choose the longest journey knowing that it will be easier. To believe, is to know that no matter how many obstacles are thrown your way, and no matter how many times they make you fall, you will always get up and reach the finish line. To believe, is to know that even though you fall hard, someone is going to catch you and will not allow you to get hurt. To believe, is to know that there will always be light at the end of every dark tunnel. To believe is to know, based on no fact on evidence, but based solely on what your mind tells you.”
At the time, I did not understand what she meant and slept because of my promise to only ask one question, but now, it all came back. The nurse called me, and I expected her to take me to a room where I would find my mom’s dead body lying on a cold metal table; the doctor had already told me there was no way for her to survive the surgery that she insisted on having, so I prepared myself for any and everything.
“Did you forget everything that I have ever taught you on what it is to believe?”
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