مذكرة—GhadeerMug

قرأت مرة في كتاب دوستويفسكي أنه يُعاني من حُمّى التفكير
فهو يفكر فيما حدث وفيما سيحدث وفيما لو قد يحدث. 
بالنسبة لي فأنا أُعاني من حُمى التأمل، أقضي عدة ساعات في تأمل أشياء لا أحد يقف أمامها لوهلة، قد يطول بي الوقوف في شارعٍ طويل مُقمر أو الجلوس في مكان لا يعبرهُ كثير من المارّة، أُطيل النظر في ملامح ليست على حظٍ كبير من الجمال، أُعيد قراءة بعض الكتب لمرّات، أُراقب بداية هطول المطر على يدي بينما الآخرين يراقبونه خلف النافذة.
لا أعرف ما الذي يدفعني للشعور بالأشياء أكثر من اللازم وطالما فضّلت عيشُها دونَ التفوه بكلمة واحدة كونُها لحظات ليس بوسعي وصف وقعُها كما هي في واقع الحال.

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